Thankful to learn math?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I had my appointment yesterday and everything continues to look good. There weren’t a lot of numbers that were thrown out, but you know things are going well when you don’t hear the phrase “hmmm, let’s see…..” They had me take 25 of Follistim right there in the office and I also had to inject my new medication Garilex. This is the medication the replaced the previously taken Lupron. It shuts part of my pituitary gland off so I won’t ovulate. It comes in a little pre filled syringe and the needle was small and thin so it was nice and simple. It did feel as if someone was stabbing me in the leg for about ten minutes after I injected it, but the feeling eventually went away. In the afternoon they called me with further instructions. They had me take 225 of Menopur last night. It was essentially 1 cc of liquid mixed with 3 viles of powder (each powder is 75). Through the process I learned that 3 x 75 = 225. This morning I have to take 150 of Menopur (so 2x75=150), 50 Follistim and another dose of Garilex. I go back to the office tomorrow morning. If everything still looks good then my egg retrieval will be Monday. The biggest fear at the moment would be that the Garilex doesn’t work and that my Luteinizing Hormone surges too early and I ovulate before my eggs can be harvested.

When I decided to start this blog I wanted to make sure that I kept it as positive as possible. I read a lot of infertility blogs and I didn’t really like the blogs that were just a bunch of venting, ranting and raving, especially other women ranting against friends, family or strangers who had the “audacity” to get pregnant. At the same time I’d like to be honest especially for readers who may be preparing to go through this process for the first time. So honestly I feel as if I’m being run over by a steam roller while in a thick fog while dementors suck out my soul.
The more medication I take the worse I feel. It is not pleasant. The physical symptoms are miserable but the mental/emotional symptoms are what I hate the most. I’m a cheerful person and it’s weird to want to feel cheerful and happy and no matter how hard I try I just can’t. I also feel very foggy and unfocused. I’m not mean or angry but I feel grumpy like an over tired toddler. My poor husband gets the brunt of my whining. Hugs from people and snuggles from a cuddly kitty help. I am looking forward to some turkey and a calm peaceful time spent with friends and family today.