Writing Excuses Love?

I have a love- hate relationship with the podcast Writing Excuses.  I love that their topics and discussions are always interesting and often I find myself adding books recommended by the hosts/authors to my books to read list.  I hate that they give, what seems to me anyway, an overwhelming list of “to don’ts” with regards to writing.  It feels so vast that by the end of an episode I’m ready to tie a white flag to the end of my pen and wave it in the surrender of all hope that I will ever be an even mediocre writer.  Their latest episode giving writing “advice” left me smiling and I listened to it a second time just to partake in one more good laugh.  I thought I would share some of their brilliant pieces of “advice”.

-          Spend at least 40 years world building before you start your novel.

-          During those 40 years be sure to spend a lot of time watching TV shows and YouTube videos (for research of course)

-          Grow a beard because that seems to make you a better writer (Bearded women have proved to be excellent short story writers).

-          Do something different-write a novel that uses no pronouns or plurals.

-          Do something that stands out-make up your own alphabet and then use it to write your entire novel.

-          Re-write your first page at least 50 times.

-          When re-writing your first page, be sure to swap out all of your ordinary words with fancy words from your Thesaurus. 

And my personal favorite

-          Be sure to take time to vacuum your cat or else all that hair could clog up your keyboard.

Sadly this is not a picture of my cat.  My cat is extremely afraid of "Mr. Dyson."

If you are a writer or even an avid reader the podcast is worth checking out (It mainly deals with the Sci-Fi and Fantasy genres).  If you are a writer just keep in mind that no good writer ever thinks their own writing is good, or at least that is what I tell myself when I listen to the podcast to make myself feel better.

A Case of the Envies

Every so often when I’m out and about for work I like to treat myself to a really nice lunch. This week there was such a day and I indulged in some fare from The British Fish and Chips eatery in Haddonfield. 

While I was there a mother about my age came in with her three little boys.  The oldest looked to be about nine, then there was Charlie who was about two and a baby boy who was old enough to sit up on his own but not old enough to walk or crawl.  The later two boys had heads full of fluffy blonde curls (the nine year old had very short hair and I imagined he was blessed with the same curly mop, but being nine he felt himself too old and mature for curls).  As I watched this mother get everyone situated at a table I felt a pang of envy rise up into my chest.

How nice is must be to have three such wonderful little boys. Sigh. I wonder if I will EVER have a little boy of my own to take to lunch. 

I continued to steal wistful glances at them in between reading paragraphs from the book I had and taking bites of my creamy cheesy Welsh Rarebit. 

About twenty minutes into the excursion that I’m sure the mother thought would be quite interesting and fun for the boys, the young little gentlemen became restless.  Charlie no longer wanted any parts of sitting still in a seat and decided to use his stroller as a jungle gym.  The baby thought it great fun to test out his vocal capacity and the oldest became sullen and annoyed with the antics of his younger siblings.  The exasperated mother rushed through eating and finally decided that it was best to pack everyone up and leave.  A few times I saw her throw a wistful glance in my direction and I could only imagine she was thinking…

How nice it must be to sit at a table all by yourself with no distraction or interruptions savoring lunch and enjoying a book.

I chuckled to myself and decided to change my attitude. I was determined to be completely and absolutely grateful right in the moment that I was in, because yes it was nice to be enjoying a quiet yummy lunch while reading an interesting book.  And who knows someday I may be the one trying to wrestle a wiggly uncooperative toddler into his stroller reminiscing about the days when I enjoyed quiet peaceful lunches. Likewise that mother may be having a peaceful lunch by herself reminiscing about the days when she had three lovely little boys who wanted nothing more than all of her love and attention.

In which I propose that there be a Max Brenner's at the Hospital

Yummy hot chocolate from Max Brenner's that I really wouldn't be able to enjoy post surgery but it's nice to have a dream.

I finally got my call today regarding when my surgery will be.  As someone who thrives on schedules and plans I was anxiously (though patiently) waiting for this call.  The surgery will take place on June 14^th (very happy I won’t miss the church picnic).  I’m excited because it will be at the fancy new Virtua Hospital in Voorhees and since there is a possibility that I may have to stay for a few days post surgery it would be nice to have a natural light filled private room (or so the website promises)

Fancy Hospital Room

I pass by the behemoth of a building at least once a week and I’ve been curious as to what the insides looked like; it’s kind of like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory but not quite as fun or cool because after all it is a hospital. Maybe they should send you home with a bag of candy or even better maybe they should put a Max Brenner’s in the hospital. That would make the experience even better! Hopefully my curiosity will sustain and offer a smidgen of distraction from the reality of having to have people jab around at my innards and take out the rotten bits and pieces.

Big Fancy Hospital

    

Chocolate Factory.  Okay maybe they aren't really alike

I’ve had to juggle (jugglers at the hospital would be fun too, but not clowns. NEVER clowns) scheduling various appointments.  I need an ultrasound one week prior to the surgery, a dexascan a week before the ultrasound because I may not be able to lie that still after the surgery and the dexascan needs to be completed before my next rheumatology appointment which is two weeks after my surgery.  I already scheduled my post ultrasound/ pre-let’s talk about the surgery appointment with the surgeon.  I’ll also have to schedule all the pre-surgery paper work and have labs done at the hospital.  Whew, that’s a lot but so far it is going smoothly.  I like having things that I have to do while I’m waiting because I can focus more on my to- do list and I ruminate less on the scary taking a nap while people poke holes in my belly button part. 

Juggling Dr. Mario- Yes
Clown Doctor-NO

  

Cuts like a Knife

 

I met with the endometriosis doctor/surgeon today.  I’m not sure why but I still find it surprising when a doctor is my age.  Somehow I always think doctors should be older…than me at least.  My husband told me to just wait until the doctors are younger than me.  The doctor was a rather serious let’s get down to business sort of lady. A sugar coater she was not. I respected that quality.  She said she liked challenging cases, and as I have a challenging case she thought she could fix me up.  Of course since my case is so severe in the long run I’ll still most likely need a full hysterectomy at some point.  This upcoming surgery will hopefully delay that by three years and help to preserve my bones. 

    The plan is to be conservative…but not too conservative which is what they did during my last surgery. At that time they were too worried about damaging my reproductive organs and thought the best treatment was to get me pregnant. There still could be a chance they may just do a full hysterectomy, but the hope is that they can save at least one of my ovaries, most likely the one on the right.  There is a good chance that they will have to complete some sort of bowel resection since most of my issues are related to my intestine.  That will mean a much longer recovery period including a stay in the hospital.  It also means a respite from one of my favorite activities…eating. 

I’m waiting now to see when the surgery will be.  June seemed to be the best month because I’ll still be on the Lupron at that point.  It makes sense but if I could, I wish it could be next week because now I have several months to think about the surgery and to do less than helpful internet searches on everything that has to do with having a bowel resection.  The plus side to waiting until June is that I have plenty of time and a great excuse to eat it up at all of my favorite places before I am placed on a restricted bland diet.

The Adventure Begins!

I'm all READY!

   The good news of this week was that all of my liver tests came back completely normal!  Thank you to all of the people who had been praying about that.  It was a great relief.  The only odd thing that still remains are my low cell counts.  Basically I’m anemic even though my iron levels are good so I’m having more lab work done to see if there is any cause for it.  I’ve had trouble with my B12 in the past so that could be it or it may have just been a lingering illness or infection.  I’m praying that after this round of blood work they will be normal as well.

When I met with my infertility doctor last week he told me that moving forward with the fourth IVF would be pointless unless we wanted to use an egg donor which is at the very bottom of our list of options so…. we are officially going to begin the most excellent exciting journey of adoption!  I thought that a new destination called for a new blog look, hence the change.  We are very happy but suddenly it seems like so much stuff has to get done, especially if we want to get our application in before the end of the year.  The most important two things to do now are…

1)      I need to have my surgery to hopefully help my endometriosis.  I meet with the surgeon on Tuesday and hopefully I’ll have the surgery sometime within the next four months while I’m still on the Lupron.

2)      We need to start our major renovation.  We had already planned to tear apart our upstairs as it is currently a disaster (definitely not home study friendly) but we didn’t have any real timeline.  Now we feel like we really have to stop lollygagging and get a move on.  All of the supplies for

  “ the kid’s bathroom” arrived Thursday.  The contractor will be here sometime this week to assess the job and then hopefully we can get started in the next few weeks. 

Those are the two most important things for now and also lots of praying for the future member of our family and his or her birth family because we know the road that will lead our child to us will not be an easy road for all involved.

I really loved this video before but it seems to mean something very special now.

The Lady with the Owl

godess Athena

This afternoon I met with my reproductive endocrinologist.  I had my last planned shot of Lupron last week.  I’ve done very well on the Lupron Depot and have had minimal side effects from it.  I imagine that this is what normal people feel like.  It was decided that due to the lack of side effects it would be safe for me to continue for an additional three months giving me a total of six months of freedom from all of my horrid digestive issues.  That sounded great to me.

The doctor also told me that he met a doctor who works for a practice that has had success performing a very specific kind of surgery for people with endometriosis.  He said he thought of me and shared my case with this doctor.  She said she would be more than happy to see me and thought that they might be able to help me through this surgery.  When he finally told me the name of the practice I laughed.  It was Athena Women’s Center, where I had gone when I was diagnosed and treated for interstitial cystitis.  It certainly takes away the new doctor anxiety that I have developed over the years because although it has been quite a few years since I’ve been there I remember everyone being knowledgeable, friendly and kind. The head doctor always looked as though he should have been coaching an NFL team instead of fixing lady issues, but he was so warm and nice to all of his patients.  I plan on calling tomorrow to make an appointment and it looks like I may have a surgery sometime within the next four months before all the Lupron wears off.

So for now we are taking a little detour away from baby territory and are focusing only on me and my endometriosis. 

Big Girl Weekends

(Meant to be posted several weeks ago)

When I was a little girl my father built a playhouse for me.  It was a lovely house with a deck, window boxes, curtains and a counter and sink.  It was bigger than the playhouses that were available for purchase, and I adored it.  I spent many a weekend outside in my backyard playing homemaker.  I would “bake” cakes using water and the sand from my sandbox; decorating my creations with bits and pieces of nature discovered around the yard.  I loved sweeping the floor and wiping down the furniture (though I continued to be opposed to doing actual chores in our real house), imagining that I was Laura Ingles or Anne Shirley or any number of other characters from that time period that I had adopted into my identity.

 As a big girl I still enjoy “playing” homemaker though the house and tools are more grown-up.  I am especially fond of unscheduled, unhurried weekends when I can make home to my heart’s content.

Slow weekends call for slow foods like Kielbasa in the Crockpot

Coconut, Peanut Butter Oat Balls

                                                        Coconut Peanut Butter Oat Balls

Freshly folded clothes

I couldn't find a photo of my old playhouse but I found this sketch I made a long time ago one snowy day