Beep...blink...beep...blink

This week while visiting my Rheumatologist she stated,

     “You sure like to keep us on our toes.”  She was referring to all of my surprise medical issues in general, but mostly referring to my surprise hospital admission last week.

   For anyone who has spent time with me over the past few weeks you will have noted my annoying hacking cough.  It was going on for several weeks with no end in sight.  On top of the cough my leg starting hurting, not good, but I wasn’t too worried.  Monday (June 24^th) I went to work and did all of the things I normally do then went to bed early since I wasn’t feeling my best and figured a good night rest would do me good.  I woke up at about 4am on Tuesday and my leg was killing me. No matter how I moved or shifted I couldn’t relieve the pain. My cough also seemed worse.  I relocated downstairs to the sofa thinking that the change in location might help.   I can’t remember if I fell back asleep or just floated restlessly in the cool semi-darkness of the living room, but when it was time to get up to go to work I felt horrible.  I had chills and felt flushed.  When I took my temperature it was 102.  My leg looked slightly swollen and I just felt like something was very wrong.  I decided that I should probably go and get checked out at the emergency room.  I have a history of having serious things wrong with my health while showing minimal symptoms so I’m always a bit on guard.

     When I first arrived, the triage nurse and the emergency room nurse seemed skeptical and seemed to think I was just being lazy about not going to my family doctor and was clogging up the ER.  They first sent me down to have an ultrasound of my leg.  Shortly after getting back to the ER the doctor came in and told me that I had a large DVT (deep vein thrombosis/blood clot) in my right leg.  Last year I had a friendly little superficial blood clot in my left leg, but my current clot was a DVT, the unfriendly can potentially kill you clot.  I was sent for a chest x-ray and then a chest CT scan.  Once the results were all back the doctor came in and sat down looking serious. She said a bunch of times throughout our conversation that she was glad that I had decided to come to the ER when I did before it was too late.  She explained that I had a pulmonary embolism.  A piece of the blood clot from my leg had broken free and was now in the lower lobe of my right lung.  Had the entire blood clot decided to move to my lung it would have killed me.  I think the doctor was waiting for me to start crying at my brush with death but my mind was appreciating this odd you might even say ironic moment.  You see, when I was 21 I was in the ER because I only had 3,000 platelets left and my blood wasn’t clotting and doctors were worried that would bleed to death at any moment.  My how times have changed, of course I am extremely happy to be alive through that experience and this one.  A few years ago a co-worker died from a pulmonary embolism so I know I am quite fortunate. 

     I was told that I would have to be admitted and that I could no longer walk and had to be still until my blood was sufficiently thinned to be sure the clot no longer had intentions of moving.  I waited for a few more hours in the ER until a room could be secured.  I was grateful it was a Tuesday so I could be comforted by a marathon of Law and Order SVU. Eventually I was moved to floor 3B to my lovely nice single room.

This wasn’t my first hospital admission, but it was my first stay at the new Virtua Voorhees.  If you have to be admitted into the hospital it isn’t a bad place to be.  I have to start out by saying that everyone was super nice.  It was almost as if they adapted the Disney World staff handbook to use with hospital staff.  Even the housekeeping and room service staff were attentive and pleasant.  Speaking of room service, it definitely made a difference.  Instead of getting a little card prior to meals with maybe, three choices like most hospitals offer at the new Virtua you get a room service menu. 

You call a number and you can order food from the menu whenever you want throughout the day.  When they deliver the food they knock on your door and say, “room service,” like you are at a fancy hotel.  Some of the food items were better than others but it was certainly an upgrade from most hospital fare.

This was my grilled cheese lunch one day

The oatmeal cookies were really good, so I got one with every meal except breakfast.

I had a very nice view from my window, though I couldn’t really appreciate it since I wasn’t allowed to get out of bed until my last day.

They low jacked me during my visit.  I wasn't sure if they were worried I would escape or if I was in danger of being kidnapped but when they took me down one afternoon for another test I imagined myself as a little moving dot on a screen. Beep - blink - beep -blink - beep....

My co-workers sent me my favorite flowers, sunflowers to brighten up my room.  It was fun because the flowers seemed to brighten up everyone’s day who came into my room.  I’m glad lots of people got to enjoy them.

This was my fancy necklace, which was actually a heart monitor that I had to wear my whole stay.  I started to know how that albatross guy felt.  Also that gluey stuff from the electrodes is impossible to scrub off once you are home.

     They gave me lots of IV heparin and then switched me to shots which I had no problem self-injecting thanks to 3 rounds of IVF. I was also taking oral blood thinner and they gave me two IV infusions of iron since my labs showed that my iron was low.  I’m usually used to watching clear fluids move through my IV so the color of the iron was a little unnerving.  I still wake up every morning and check myself for any possible mutations (I want to be a shape shifter like Mystique if I had a choice).

Once the doctors were satisfied that my blood was sufficiently thin and that I was no longer in danger I was allowed to go home with instructions to self-inject shots until Monday, oral blood thinner for the next six months and I had to get labs everyday for one week and then twice a week for the next six months.

Shots at home

I now have a new hematologist who will be following me.  He ran a lot of specialized labs that won’t be back for a few weeks but the theory is that the clot was episodic, which means I won’t have to be on blood thinners forever.

What most people don’t know is that in May I found out that I was pregnant.  No drugs, no procedures, just old fashioned conception.  It came as quite a shock since we were told there was almost no chance we could conceive on our own.  I didn’t find out until I was 5 weeks.  At 5 weeks everything looked fine but when I went back at 7 weeks the ultrasound showed that the pregnancy had shut down at 5 weeks.  It had never progressed past that point and it was no longer a viable pregnancy.  I opted to have the pregnancy extracted so that pathology could be done to see if genetic issues caused the pregnancy loss.  All of the results came back 100% normal.  No genetic issues at all.  The theory is that the pregnancy triggered the blood clot; that when my estrogen is high it flips on a switch that hyper-coagulates my blood. There is still a lot of figuring out to do but I would rather have an episodic blood clot than a I have to be on blood thinners forever clot, though blood thinners forever is preferable to death.

For now I’ve been resting as much as I can.  I still have the annoying cough from my lung tissue being irritated by the clot but at least my leg hurts less and feels much better.  My biggest complaint is that I have extreme fatigue at the moment which has made me grumpy because if you haven’t noticed I love being active and out and about and all of the sleeping is getting old.  It is especially difficult during a weekend when there are lots of fun festivities going on and I'm just home  making myself depressed by watching House Hunters Beachfront Homes.  Hopefully the sleepiness will pass and I’ll soon be out and about once again. 

Recovery

Card made by Stephanie

“Just another minute, they’re going to get you a shot.”  Huh? I thought as the nurse prepped the needle and the anesthesiologist held my hand like we were on an awkward date.

    I showed up to the hospital at 6:30am and was extremely dehydrated from lack of liquids combined with the magnesium citrate that I had to take for the bowel prep.  The nurse made three attempts on both of my arms with no success at starting my IV.  The anesthesiologist founda vein near my wrist but thought that it may still be difficult so she gave me a numbing shot before she finally was able to successfully put the IV into place.  At about 8:50am I said farewell to everyone, put on my little hat and they began to wheel me to the OR.  They never told me that they already gave me some sleepy medicine before carting me off and the last thing I remember was seeing the girl who was wheeling me press the button to open a set of doors and then I knocked out.

As I began to wake up it felt like I was trying to climb up from the bottom of a well filled with water. It took me a bit to remember where I was and why I felt the way I did.  People were making a fuss around me and I remember a few times telling someone that I felt like I was gasping for air.  I guess when they thought I was conscious enough they wheeled me back to the prepping/waiting area and had me move to a lounge type chair.  It did not go well.  I was extremely dizzy and everything felt like it was spinning and I began to dry heave violently.  They asked if I wanted my husband to come back and I replied no because I didn’t want anyone to see me yet.  I felt horrible and the nurse explained that I had developed a high fever and my largest incision had been leaking badly.  When I was settled a little more I was able to lay back and close my eyes and that helped the spinning but if I dared to open my eyes the world fiercely lurched and lunged.

The nursed continued to make a fuss over me and at about 1pm I told them they could bring my husband back.  The doctor had another surgery right after mine and then she had to leave for a conference so she wasn’t going to be able to talk to me post-surgery.  She did talk to my husband but I think that doctors need to have a sheet called “what I told your husband” because by the time he was conveying the information to me he couldn’t remember exactly what the doctor said.  He knew that she said my endometriosis was one of the worst cases she had ever seen and that it was a good thing I had surgery when I did.  My left ovary was tangled in my intestine so they removed my left ovary but didn’t have to resection my intestine. My husband thinks that she mentioned removing my right fallopian tube. There were a lot of adhesions tangled in my kidneys and the rest of my organs were cemented together and twisted and tangled so they fixed that.  I have my follow up appointment on September 19^th so I’ll be able to find out all of the information and see pictures.

They nurses, who were patient and sweet ended up bringing in a machine filled with a medication that dispensed in timed intervals.  It ended up making the spinning/nausea stop and then I couldn’t get out of the hospital fast enough.  I had to eat some crackers and drink some ginger ale to prove that I could keep them down and I also had to urinate prior to leaving.  I left the hospital at about 4:45pm with just a slight fever and was overjoyed to relocate myself to the sofa where I’ve remained ever since.  After the first two days I switched to mainly taking Motrin with maybe one dose of heavier pain meds per day.  As long as I don’t move around too much it isn’t too bad though I’m still very tired and continue to nap frequently.  Since I’m sleeping a lot I’m not bored and I probably won’t have to stay out of work for as long as I thought so at this point I’m just trying to enjoy doing nothing for a bit.

Box of Meds

Since I made her get a bath prior to the surgery Lambie insisted on having her picture on my blog.  She is helping me log onto Webkinz to play some games.

Cause we're the six best friends that anyone could have and we'll never ever ever ever ever leave each other!

Liquid Luck

I have the very best friends ever!  Over the weekend they threw me a get better soon potions party complete with a life size Snape and potions which were beakers filled with water and glow necklaces to make them glow different colors. The menu included Black Lake zucchini boats, gillyweed salad and Felix Felicis to drink. 

Of course Stephanie made cupcakes (something she excels at).  They were chocolate with salted caramel centers and chocolate ganache icing. 

Party Favors from Honeydukes

It was beyond awesome, oh and I also got presents!  They are the best.

I got my call today that I need to be at the hospital at 6:00am and my surgery should be at 8:00am.  My infertility doctor called tonight to make sure I was all ready and to let me know that he had a few early morning procedures so he wouldn’t be able to show up until I was already under.  He told me he really trusted the doctors doing my surgery and is hopeful that they will fix my issues. He is such a great doctor that goes above and beyond.  I’m so happy I switched infertility centers.  I met with the surgeon Monday and she was very reassuring about everything so I don’t feel nervous at all, I am all ready.  I cleaned the house, did a lot of laundry and even gave Lambie and the kitty a bath so they can smell good while I snuggle with them.

A Case of the Envies

Every so often when I’m out and about for work I like to treat myself to a really nice lunch. This week there was such a day and I indulged in some fare from The British Fish and Chips eatery in Haddonfield. 

While I was there a mother about my age came in with her three little boys.  The oldest looked to be about nine, then there was Charlie who was about two and a baby boy who was old enough to sit up on his own but not old enough to walk or crawl.  The later two boys had heads full of fluffy blonde curls (the nine year old had very short hair and I imagined he was blessed with the same curly mop, but being nine he felt himself too old and mature for curls).  As I watched this mother get everyone situated at a table I felt a pang of envy rise up into my chest.

How nice is must be to have three such wonderful little boys. Sigh. I wonder if I will EVER have a little boy of my own to take to lunch. 

I continued to steal wistful glances at them in between reading paragraphs from the book I had and taking bites of my creamy cheesy Welsh Rarebit. 

About twenty minutes into the excursion that I’m sure the mother thought would be quite interesting and fun for the boys, the young little gentlemen became restless.  Charlie no longer wanted any parts of sitting still in a seat and decided to use his stroller as a jungle gym.  The baby thought it great fun to test out his vocal capacity and the oldest became sullen and annoyed with the antics of his younger siblings.  The exasperated mother rushed through eating and finally decided that it was best to pack everyone up and leave.  A few times I saw her throw a wistful glance in my direction and I could only imagine she was thinking…

How nice it must be to sit at a table all by yourself with no distraction or interruptions savoring lunch and enjoying a book.

I chuckled to myself and decided to change my attitude. I was determined to be completely and absolutely grateful right in the moment that I was in, because yes it was nice to be enjoying a quiet yummy lunch while reading an interesting book.  And who knows someday I may be the one trying to wrestle a wiggly uncooperative toddler into his stroller reminiscing about the days when I enjoyed quiet peaceful lunches. Likewise that mother may be having a peaceful lunch by herself reminiscing about the days when she had three lovely little boys who wanted nothing more than all of her love and attention.

Megatron vs. The Borg

When you have five and a half years of waiting you have lots of time to settle on baby names. Of course we still enjoy throwing out other options…Shannon is still very fond of Optimus Prime or Megatron. I think calling the baby The Borg would be fitting due to the scientific nature of his or her conception. All kidding aside I really do like our names and I must admit I will feel a little disappointed if we never get to use them. If we do adopt we’ll most likely be adopting toddlers or even preschoolers and I’m not sure I would want to force a preschooler to change his or her name.

Boys- Our number one name is Samuel David. As a child I loved the story of Samuel in the Bible. I remember lying in bed at night straining to see if I could hear God’s voice calling me. Also when I was in college I spent a year taking care of a baby boy named Samuel and I adored him. My dad’s name is David so it makes a great middle name especially since Samuel anointed David.

Since there is a chance with IVF you could have twins I try to have a back up name just in case we get a two for one deal. This name changes a lot but for the moment I like Josiah Joseph.

Girls- This was far more difficult. We threw out names for years and couldn’t find one we both agreed on. Being one in a sea of endless Sarahs I wanted my daughter to have a name that was a little different without being too weird or crazy.
Being fans of the author Neil Gaiman and fans of director Henry Selick, we were thrilled when the Coraline movie came out. After the movie while sitting in the theater with the credits rolling my husband looked over at me and said,
“I like that name…Coraline.” I agreed, I really liked that name too and so our possible future daughter became Coraline with the middle name Anne, for Anne of Green Gables of course.

It took us so long to come up with one girl’s name I’m concerned about having more than one girl because there really is no back up name. There are a few that get thrown around and one serious though possibly controversial consideration but nothing that we can agree on yet. I searched through other female names in Neil Gaiman stories, because I thought that would be a cool trend but Coraline is the only one I really love.

I think some people will wonder why my daughter wouldn’t be named after my mother who died when I was seventeen. The answer to that is that I promised I wouldn’t. Around nine years old, my mom made me promise very seriously promise that I would not name my future daughter after her. In fact I couldn’t even name her anything that resembled her name at all. My mom really hated her name. There was also a second forbidden name but I won’t go into that and as I was always taught that you need to keep your promises or don’t make them in the first place, our daughter will be Coraline Anne. Since my mom loved reading just like me I think she would approve of her granddaughter having a literary name.