Like me, my
zucchini plants are having infertility issues. They seemed off to the races
from the moment I planted them in their galvanized tub, and when they started
to blossom and grow baby zucchini I was thrilled. Last year our plants blossomed but no scrumptious
zucchini appeared. This year I could
taste the roasted vegetable wraps already as the little green squashes emerged.
Unfortunately to my dismay, the tiny zucchini
began to rot before ever getting past the newborn stage. A quick internet search told me that I had
“Blossom End Rot.”
One of the
culprits of Blossom End Rot is a lack of pollination. We were pretty sure that lack of pollination
was the reason we ended up with no zucchini at all last year.
Since I live
in a town home complex and am not permitted to house and raise my own honey
bees (a future aspiration) and my attempts to attract them with yummy flowers
hasn’t quite worked out (or so I assume) I was going to have to pollinate my zucchini by hand.
According to the directions I read online, early morning is
the best time to hand pollinate as this is when the zucchini flowers are
open. The male flowers are at the end of
long thin stems and the female flowers are rounded and sit attached to end of
the little zucchini.
I cut one of the
male flowers from the plant, gently tore some of the flower off so that all of
the fertile pollen was exposed and then I gently opened up the female flowers
and dumped then kind of rubbed the inside of the male flower into the inside of
the female flower (I contemplated using some Barry White music to make everyone
more relaxed but seeing as it was early morning I didn’t want to disturb the
neighbors).
There was something about the process that
felt very procreative and I logged it as a possible good teaching opportunity
for the birds and the bees (though in my case lack of bees) discussion someday
(with future child) as the zucchini anatomy is a good initial example of human
anatomy. Once I had paired up all of
the squash couples I left the pollen to do what the pollen is supposed to
do. (*note this was my interpretation
of the online directions and could possibly be incorrect).
I have to admit that the process made me feel a bit like the
zucchini pimp or maybe more like the zucchini infertility specialist. I hope that next year some bees will be happy
to act as the third party. This of
course makes me imagine little bees dressed up in mini purple fur coats and
hats with zebra print trim. Please enjoy
that mental picture.
*Just as an update, my surgery has been rescheduled for
August 23rd. I made sure to
“pencil” it in, literally, just to be on safe side.
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