Thursday, September 13, 2012

...and now we pray

After my first week of recovery I hit a wall.  I didn’t feel any better nor did I feel worse.  My mind was beginning to clear of the post surgery and pain medication induced fog but my body was not catching up.  My impatience flared and frustration loomed as I remained tired and weary for two weeks.  Thankfully this week I have been feeling much better.  My mind is clear and sharp and I’ve been able to get my body to endure a bit more every day.  Next week I should be able to return to work and it seems that my recovery is rapidly galloping toward its end…and now we pray.

Next Thursday I have a routine exam with my rheumatologist.  Muriel (I mean she has to be great her first name is the same as Miss Stacy in Anne of Green Gables) from Holt gave me the guidelines for the letter that my doctor must write.  The letter will need to state the doctor’s credentials, the status of my disorder (lupus/mild), my current treatment plan (just monitor no need for treatment since it is mild), my prognosis (positive since my case is so mild) and whether or not the doctor believes I should be permitted to adopt.  This is the absolutely most important step in the process for us as my lupus could exclude us from being able to adopt.  The letter will be sent to Holt and then a group of directors will review it and will determine whether or not we are eligible to move ahead .  If everything goes well we are then permitted to complete our application.  I have been praying like crazy that all goes well but would be fibbing if I didn’t admit that I am nervous.  I would be grateful if this part of the process were merely a hill to climb instead of a jagged frozen snow covered impossible mountain. I believe with God, climbing the jagged frozen snow covered mountain would be possible, but right now I could use a little rest while basking in the radiant brightness of hope.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

In which I've watched too much Investigation Discovery

I’m not sure why but when I feel really bad I like to watch “murder shows” so for the first week and a half that I have been home I have been watching a lot of Investigation Discovery.  I think the reasons are threefold.  First, no matter how bad I feel at least I’m not being murdered, second I get so absorbed in the who done it, how did it happen and how was it figured out that I forget that I feel bad, and third, they tend to be very monotone so they are easy to fall asleep to.  The problem is that after so many shows about seemingly normal people who commit murder I become paranoid that everyone might want to do me in.  Case in point…

I ran out to my car this week to grab the emergency decongestant that I keep in my console; while I was out there I noticed that one of my tires was flat.  Since my husband has been busy this week with a lot of after work things and since I’m not going anywhere he figured that he would worry about it this weekend.

Today I was sitting on the sofa watching Craft Wars to see what it was all about when I heard a knock at the door.  Thinking that it could possibly be someone dropping off food or a flower delivery I cautiously opened the door.  It turned out to be one of our neighbors.  He said he noticed my tire was flat and wanted to change it for me since he was home today.  He promised he didn’t want any money or compensation or anything like that he just wanted to be a nice neighbor.  I must admit that I wasn’t thrilled about having to stand out in the parking lot in my bathrobe with my hair all crazy but he seemed like he really wanted to change the tire.  Then I started thinking that this is how it all starts.  Maybe he wanted to see if I was home all by myself; maybe he’s going to knock me out with my tire iron (actually I don’t have one my car has a little special tool) maybe he was going to stuff me in my trunk and drive me away in my own car (kind of hard to do when the mail man is right there stuffing mail boxes and kids newly home after school are riding their bikes around).  I was on my guard the whole time looking out for any signs that murder might be on the agenda, but in the end it seemed that the neighbor was sincerely attempting to be helpful.  It also seemed like maybe it was all meant to be because it so happened that this neighbor had a particular challenge that I know a bit about and I was able to offer some helpful information and encouragement, so maybe in the end my flat tire was more divine intervention and less a chance for someone hotter and more attractive to play me in an awesome reenactment featured on Blood, Lies and Alibis. 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012